Updated: Nov 22, 2022
Fair is when two people play a game according to the same rules.
Fair does not apply to life.
Regardless of this fact, humans have decided that we are entitled to it.
So much so that our desire for fairness has become a handicap.
When the storm inevitably hits our life we zoom in on what it is doing to us.
We judge its fairness, determining our level of victimhood in the moment.
"Why me? It's not fair."
Maybe, probably that's true, that it's not fair.
So, now what?
Who said it's going to be fair?
What if we asked a different question?
What is this storm doing for me?
What lesson, skill, or perspective can be taken from this?
Will I accept this as an opportunity?
Will I allow this experience to provide me with growth as a reward for living through it?
Only if I cope with it appropriately.
Everything in life provides us with a chance to feel it, react to it, and cope with it.
When we default to negative coping from a victim's mindset we self-destruct.
We lean on outside influences, substances, and distractions that
'save us' from the discomfort.
We allow the chaos to decide our fate and we take
nothing from the experience but the agony and the pain it provides.
And then we perpetuate it indefinitely through our negative responses.
When we practice positive coping methods we respond with actions that are good for us, enabling us to grow through the experience.
We take the lesson, wisdom, and fortitude that's offered to us by working through the discomfort.
What if we removed our expectations of fair?
What if we don't need it?
What if it's irrelevant?
Can we learn to respect and appreciate difficult moments?
We only seize the opportunity to grow when we choose to step in and face it.
And to handle it by sitting in the rawness of the reality undistracted and undeterred.
We only develop a true sense of reality when we stop trying to escape through easier choices, substances, or distractions.
What if we chose to walk through each experience with a clear-mind and open-heart?
Fair or not, life is a beautiful challenge...
Be here for it.